Everything and Nothing
by Blake4
Summary: Ryuichi has everything. Looks, talent, money.. but is it enough? (Tohma+Ryuichi)
1. Chapter 1: Everything and Nothing

Everything and Nothing  
  
by Blake!  
  
Really, I don't know where I'm going with this, so I guess you could say it's all improvised. XD I hope you like it! Please R&R, too, because I need motivation to get the rest done!  
  
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Perfect. Everything seemed just and true when he sang. His heart nearly ached with pain just from the amazing adrenaline and pure joy he'd gotten when on the stage, with the assistance of his two companions behind their respective instruments. The lights shimmered, or what he would like to say 'sparkled', in a perfect twilight which seemed to surpass the feelings beyond anything else. The music surrounded him as he sang all of his heart and mind, feeling triumphant, as if nothing could ever tear him from what was discovered to be his destiny.  
  
It was a stomach-turning decision; to leave for a solo career, an attempt to expand his horizons and touch different parts of the globe. One at a time, starting with America, in which he'd been assisted by a tall blonde. His life, and lifestyle, changed in those moments, no longer recognized as member of an elite band, and he'd found himself taking his time. Only to live along the standards of the middle class -- not that such was awful, but it wasn't what he'd planned.  
  
He was made for Japan, and vice versa. Here, they knew him and idolized him; worshipped him; begged for what seemed nearly scribbles, and in fact they were, on pictures of himself. It made him wonder when or how it was that so many people had pictures of him, his own fame nearly inconceivable, incomprehensible to even himself.  
  
Yet, he felt useless.  
  
His performance was through, and all was accomplished. It was almost as if that was all they needed from him -- his talent; his voice; his passion for music. Kumagoro was the only one that could recognize him beyond the talent, beyond what emotions he'd acted out among his peers. Not one was caring enough as to observe him beyond that, save Kumagoro. He wasn't a mere child at heart. His plush bunny he'd kept so sincerely, sacredly close was there not because he was less intelligent, or more naïve than others, but rather due to neglect. Throughout his life.  
  
It was raining. Rain to him was almost comforting, in its gentle scent and admirably careless sojourn amongst the sidewalk. He closed his eyes, bowing his head in a wise of still melancholy, taking a careful stride as he passed occasional men and women in suits, adorning their little attractive black umbrellas, which protected them from the gentle drops of water. He kept Kumagoro protectively hidden beneath his jacket, keeping its head slightly in the open, allowing it to 'breathe'.  
  
By the time he reached the park, the tips of his olive hair had begun dripping water, his navy blue jacket darker now from the absorption of rain, causing him to shiver occasionally, although coping. "Ne, Kumagoro", he said as he took a seat on a wet bench, oblivious as he pulled out his faithful companion; his state of mind again acted, as if anyone he knew could be watching him, "I didn't think it was going to rain today." After taking a last glance about, he held the plush close to him; closing his eyes, tears mixing with rain. 


	2. Chapter 2: Getting used to You

Everything and Nothing>> Chapter 2: Getting used to You   
  
By Blake!   
  
Author's Note: I just have to make this a Tohma+Ryuichi fic e_e it's the only pairing I can sincerely vision with Ryuichi.   
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Gravitation, and never can claim to. If I did, I wouldn't be writing this story. e_e   
  
*******   
Chapter 2 - Getting used to You   
His own violent shudder awoke him from his disturbing slumber. He still sat in drenched clothing, his hair matted and dripping wet. He somehow drifted off with his melancholy, which helplessly carried throughout the still air around him, the only barrier being the gentle rain which still carried itself about. Glancing down at his small companion, the question arose as to why he was fortunate enough to still have him, as pessimistic as he sincerely was.   
  
Gathering himself, his slender fingers gripped the water-stained cloth of his jacket, another shudder pulsing throughout his body as the fabric refused to deny touch. He began walking silently, his eyebrows furrowed slightly, eyes painfully closed as he could no longer forget what was clouding his mind, throughout his consciousness and beyond. His eyes opened only slightly as he bumped into a passerby, muttering a small apology as the woman nonchalantly moved on.   
  
He stopped at an intersection, looking up at the pedestrian light with a tinge of patience. He frowned slightly as the thoughts kept building in his mind. When he would lose his success; if something were to happen to Kumagoro; if he were looked down upon by others, shunned and lost, never to be found as no one would care. His knees weakened, yet he was able to drag his feet across the road. After only several steps onto the asphalt, a beaming light caught his peripheral vision, closing off their distance fast enough to gain his attention. By the time he looked over, all he could see was light.   
****   
"Ryu-chan?", a woman's calmed voice called out to him.   
  
"Don't worry, Noriko-san, he may need more rest still", a gentle voice assured the other. Ryuichi's senses picked up a gentle touch grazing along his forehead, brushing back locks of his hair. He winced slightly as consciousness was reclaiming its role. His eyes seemed tightly shut, as if being held closed by an anonymous force. Another gentle touch motivated him to bringing his eyes open, requiring another light wince to do so. Yet, his success was only to a certain degree as his vision was blurred and uncertain. Slowly, things nearest to him came into focus, and he was able to identify his two faithful bandmates, Tohma and Noriko. It took him a moment to process an idea of where he was at, and he tried to sit up when his mind received the notion to do so.   
  
"A hospital..?", he weakly murmured as Tohma carefully held him from sitting up.   
  
Noriko looked worriedly at him as she approached him beside the bed. "The doctors say you were hit by a car! Ryu-chan," she continued with a growingly irritated tone, "what were you doing outside in the rain like that?"   
  
He shook his head slightly, as if unaware as to what would provoke him to even step outside. Save work, he really had nothing else he could do without having to wear hats and sunglasses to remain inconspicuous. "A-ano", he searched for a logical explanation. Tohma stood as if to interrupt him from further comment. He glanced over at Ryuichi apologetically before escorting a frustrated Noriko out of the room. Ryuichi closed his eyes as he hugged Kumagoro close to him, the thought of him being there the entire time bringing no surprise to him. He didn't bother to eavesdrop as there were whispers on the opposite side of the door.   
  
Ryuichi reopened his eyes, rubbing them weakly as he heard the door open. Tohma stepped back in with his usually charming smile, which gave him a slightly boyish look. He closed his eyes again as Tohma approached him at the side of the bed and sat on the chair he was previously at. He glanced about the room as he sighed softly, a pending question floating around in his complex mind. He looked down at his injured band member worriedly. "You do know why," Tohma spoke only loud enough for him to hear. He blinked as his look became more serious. "Ryuichi-san, why were you out there like that?"   
  
He waited patiently for a response, but received nothing for what seemed beyond a minute. "How bad is it," Ryuichi finally murmured, his eyes staying closed as he held an arm over his eyes, hugging Kumagoro weakly with his other arm. At least he was able to gather at that time that he didn't break an arm.   
  
Tohma closed his eyes with another gentle sigh. "You broke both of your legs, along with your right knee," he quietly informed him as he opened his eyes. He frowned slightly when he watched his shocked reaction. "Although, the doctors expect a quicker recovery thanks to your active lifestyle," he reassured with another smile. His eyes widened slightly as the ring of his cell phone startled him. He stood and pulled out his phone, gently opening it. "Hello?", he spoke insurely, "Eh? Mika-san? Yes, I'm just visiting someone." He was unsure as to how he should word it. He didn't think it wise to inform her where he was, and what was happening. Namely because he himself was unsure.   
  
Ryuichi watched quietly as he subconsciously gnawed on Kumagoro's ear, hugging it on a random occasion. After ending his conversation with his wife, Tohma closed his cell phone, glancing back over at him with a nearly regretful look, yet forced his usual smile once again. That mundane smile that was so overly used, no one really knew what was going on if they hadn't payed enough attention. "I must be going now," Tohma apologetically stated, "I'll visit you soon again, okay?" With that, he made his way to the door.   
  
"Please stay," he muttered in a distant tone. He didn't want to be left alone. Even in the presence of Kumagoro, the building seemed too busy and intimidating, and he feared that he wouldn't know what to do if neither him nor Kumagoro knew what was going on. Tohma stopped at the door, his slender fingers already gripping the handle. Blinking once, he removed his hand and turned to face him. He couldn't help but smile at that afraid look of his. It wasn't that he liked the idea of fear amongst those close to him, but rather the simplicity of his fears. He nodded slightly, looking down at his phone as he turned it off. 


End file.
